23 Lessons In 23 Years
I have spent most of my life feeling like I never fit in with people my own age. That isn’t to say that I haven’t made amazing friendships, or had relationships with people my age- I have. But there was always something that made me feel different. Sometimes it was isolating and other times it gave me a boost of confidence, but regardless it made me feel better in the solitary moments of living. It gave me a deeper understanding of who I want to be.
Every single relationship or interaction I have had so far in my twenty-three years of being alive has taught me something; something about how I want to live, how I don’t want to live, things I want to start doing, things I never want to do, ways I want to act, or ways I don’t want to act. There is a lot to learn in the act of observing, you just have to take the time to reflect on it. These are the realizations I have has so far through quiet observing and constant reflection.
The power a good routine can have is not dependent on your age. Being rigid in doing the things you like (or sometimes need) to do only opens up more time for you to reflect on the things ahead or things that have past. You don’t have to wait until you are older for this to be a priority in your life.
You do not have to act like the people that surround you to fit in. With time you will find people that you fit in with, without having to try. There are people out there that will accept you and encourage you for your differences.
It is okay to not fit into one “aesthetic”. The thing most beautiful about people is the depth they can hold within themselves. Let yourself enjoy what you enjoy without holding back.
Do not push your responsibilities aside. This teaches you to have self-discipline, and even though sometimes you have to miss out on a few things, it will get you closer to your goals without even realizing it. Time-management and communication is key here.
Communication is critical, so learn different ways of communicating with different people. This doesn’t mean change yourself, you still have to hold on tight to your values and morals in order to communicate the truth, but find ways to share your thoughts clearly and calmly to people that don’t express themselves like you do.
Take care of your vessel. This isn’t just about looking good, this is about the side effects that putting time and effort into yourself can bring. Something as simple as a shower can completely change the direction of your day and how you feel about yourself. You will learn to lean on these things when you can lean on yourself.
There is danger in being stagnant. We have brains for a reason, use it as much as you can. Learn new things, come up with ideas that spark something inside of you and run with it, think outside of today. If you stop using your brain, you stop living.
Dream big and only do the things that get you closer to that dream. You have one shot at making your life into a dream come true, so why waste your precious time on things that wont get you closer to it?
Don’t be afraid of change, embrace it. Everything has a beginning and end, and though the transition from one thing to another can be painful, it is necessary to get you to the next version of yourself.
Try your hardest to do things that are new to you- just ask questions along the way. There is a fine line between cockiness and confidence. You can be confident in yourself to learn something new, but you shouldn’t act as though you know everything you need to know; it only makes you take knowledge away from yourself. Use your past knowledge to formulate your future questions.
Be mindful of what you preach, you have to practice it too.
Don’t do things you know you will have to apologize for in the future. If you can stand tall in your decision, regardless of if somebody questions you on it, it is probably the right decision for you to make.
Always push to make “your best” better, it will teach you to get through hard things without stooping outside of your values and morals.
Anything worth doing takes some planning, and sometimes you still find beautiful moments in spontaneity. You can not wait for the perfect scenario to come to you, and then be mad when it doesn’t. But recognize the opportunities that can come from doing things you never planned on.
It is okay to outgrow things that you once loved. This doesn’t mean you have to stop loving that person or thing, you just have to learn how to love things differently. Growth doesn’t have to be rooted in anger, it can be a peaceful change. Be thankful for what you had and leave it at that.
The physical space you are in directly affects your mindset. You have the power to change your environment. Whether it be through cleaning up, reorganizing, or going to a new place entirely- you never realize how much it negatively affects you until you are out of it. Hindsight is always 20/20.
It is okay to look back at what you have done and not be very proud of yourself, what makes the difference is not letting yourself do those things again. People are not perfect, you are included in that. Learn how to apologize and hold yourself to a new standard. Beating yourself up does not change the past.
There are just some things you have to learn to live with. Life can throw things at you that are completely out of your control. It doesn’t make it fair, but it also doesn’t have to define you.
Don’t be afraid to say no. This is only another way of making your intensions clear and give people around you the opportunity to know what to expect from you.
Set your boundaries and make your expectations clear early on. The longer you settle, the more regrets you will have as time goes on. You will look back on the situation with regret or anger, and not be able to see the value in the time you were there. All experiences have value.
Never let yourself fall into auto-pilot. Unless you are completely satisfied with where you are at, there are still more changes you can make.
It is your decision to break negative patterns you notice in your life. It takes commitment and discipline to recognize the things you are doing, or situations you are participating in, that are not benefiting you. If you aren’t ready to change the cycle, you have no-one but yourself to blame.
Don’t bank on the fact that there will be a “tomorrow”, that is only taking your own time for granted. You can put things off to a point where you have pushed things so far away that you will no longer be able to reach for them again. There is such a thing as “too late”.
