Enjoying The Present While Being Excited For The Future
I always find myself searching for the next change in my life. Unlike a lot of people, I crave change instead of being uncomfortable with it. But, just like being afraid of change will put a hold on your life and keep you from your dreams, constantly seeking it out has the negative effect of never seeing the things you have accomplished.
It has been a long-time struggle for me to truly be in the present. The juggling of two businesses has morphed me into a heavy duty, type-a, planner, and my love for writing causes a highlight reel of ideas constantly playing in my head. Being so structured and dreaming big has pushed me to new levels, and I am incredibly thankful for that, but looking back I realize that where I am now is where I wished I would be six months ago, and the time I set aside to enjoy this is non-existent. Moments I can’t wait for always seem to pass me by.
The upcoming transition from summer to fall is a big reminder of this everlasting struggle of enjoying the present while still being excited for the future. Every season change brings this. There are few weeks of sunny days left and I have yet to sun-tan now that I am not working a set schedule, hike with Heath through the beautiful parks my town has to offer, and wear the sundresses that collect dust in my closet. You would think that this planning habit of mine would help me to commit to myself in the little moments of life, but instead I am thinking about the sweaters I can wear in the cooler weather and movie nights while leaves fall outside while the sun is still shining and the days are long. The likeliness that I will have those movie nights and wear those sweaters is low if I continue to live in the future- once again time will pass me by.
Through every changing season, I have come to at least learn the things that get me closer and closer to the present. Surprisingly, my planning plays a huge part in that, but not as much as learning how to have stronger self-discipline and my need for solitude does. I can put all the things I want to do in my calendar, it shows me that I can still keep up with my responsibilities while enjoying my time; twenty-four hours is in fact enough time in the day. But, when the time comes, the hardest part is for me to set down the things that can be dealt with later, and follow through on the promises I made to myself. That is only easy for me to do when I have kept all my promises leading up to it; I need solitude to do the things I do, it is just part of the business I am in.
Though it looks like I am just typing on a computer, it takes a lot of brain power to create for clients, for my own business, and write enough so I feel that the ideas in my mind aren’t fogging my thoughts. I can juggle all of these things, and I love managing the things I do, it just takes focus. I work best in the quiet, and by myself with my doggies. Consistent distractions are like road blocks, not just detours, to me.
As I will soon go through a big change in my life that will bring me near constant solitude, (which to me is just time to practice being self-disciplined, uninterrupted) I am excited to see how much it truly brings me back to center and how much my work life AND personal life will flourish. I will have all the time I need to do the things I want.
